Some of you will know that I have M.E and you will also remember my many posts on here in the past where I wrote about how I was struggling to figure out how to live a ‘normal’ life while also looking after my health. I had grown used to making plans for my career and acting upon them without really having to think about it too much. Life has its own ideas sometimes and gradually I’m beginning to accept that certain hopes I might have had for a career or a career change are not possible at the moment, not only because of my health but for a number of reasons.
That’s not to say I’m giving up or deciding that those things will never be possible but what I’m accepting is that for now there are other opportunities to pursue. What I’m also learning is that rather than focusing on the restrictions life might have placed upon me it’s good to also realise that I now have a lot of freedom to explore other opportunities and just have a bit of fun doing that.
Creativity and focus
What you may also remember are the numerous times I wrote about nurturing my creative side – doing more drawing, photography and that kind of thing. Well, things are finally beginning to ‘click’ for me. I’m naturally finding myself doing more creative things and what I’m discovering is that by being creative I’m also helping myself. What I mean is that when I sit down and draw or get my camera and practise taking photos my mind is focused on that and not much else. Even if only for a few minutes I stop with all the ‘what if’s and the worries and stresses I might be dealing with and I am totally focused on what is happening right then in the present.
For a few reasons I felt a bit low this morning. I also felt tired so I resisted my natural urge to go for a walk to take my mind off things. Instead I focused on doing something creative and also productive and this helped to calm my mind. It might not seem like much but that figure in the photo that looks slightly like an alien is something I’m quite proud of and that sketch is something I’m also going to be developing into something more so keep an eye out for that. Speaking of which I’ll also make sure it has eyelashes on both eyes before I continue!
It’s rubbish sometimes when what you hoped for in life doesn’t happen and it’s frustrating when the way you might normally deal with things is no longer appropriate but, or should I say, BUT that’s life. It’s never ever going to be perfect and there are always going to be things that disrupt it and that you have to work around so as difficult as it is sometimes to remember this, I’m trying to stop getting upset about that and start enjoying it a lot more.